i'm just done

I'm so tired of everyone wanting something from me. I'm done. I'm done with Alec, Cody, Megan, Megan's mom, and a handful of other people out there. Really... I love Megan's mom, I just wish she knew what was REALLY going on. Knowing Megan, she probably only told her mom half the story, or her favorite parts. I especially don't understand why she tries so hard to be a good person when she doesn't even try at all. And her comment about not participating in petty teenage drama? Ummm... I do believe that is what this whole thing is, so I suggest she stops glaring and me and my friends everytime we pass her in the hallway. Grow up please.

♥ tony

the nurse and the stoner, part 2

Wow. A lot has happened these passed 48 hours. Ugh... for one, I got sexual with Cody, and yes he has herpes so I'm kind of worried about that. I mean, what would happen if it turns out I have it? Anyway, Alec isn't talking to me I think. It's because I was trying to be honest about my thing with Cody and he got really upset. I guess I just didn't understand how much I meant to him. He almost made it seem like we were dating... which I wouldn't mind. He is a very bright light, but I fear if my thoughts are correct, that bright light will fade away. I really like him, I just didn't want to seem so obsessed and clingy like in the past. I tried to ease myself. Anyway, later after my little fight with Alec, I made it worse. Tim apparently knows Alec and told me he was a very dishonest person and somewhat of a slut. Of course I don't want to believe that, but I've only known the kid for maybe a month so how much can I REALLY know about him? Who knows, time will tell... that is if he ever talks to me again.

♥ tony

the nurse and the stoner

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged. Mainly because my school's internet won't let me access this site. But I've finally found a way around it, because I'm cool like that. Tim and I broke up because he was too needy and didn't understand me as well as I wanted him to. So I met this guy named Alec a little before Thanksgiving and he's ideal. Pretty much everything I've been wanting. He seems to have things very well planned out, very mature. But... I also met this other guy named Cody who lives here in Hudson who wants to hang out tomorrow cause I used to be friends with his roommates and they're moving away. Alcohol will probably be involved. I mean, I know I have self control, but when alcohol is added, I'm not sure. I've always had a good sense of control when I'm drunk when it comes to having sex with other people, I'm just worried I'll let myself sleep with him. I told Alec and of course he got mad. But him and I aren't exclusive, we're just friends who really like each other. It's been a good two months since I've had sex, and I feel like I'm going through withdrawal. If I do sleep with him, I think I'd feel guilty cause of the whole Alec thing. But if I don't then I'll be kicking myself in the ass asking myself why I didn't. We'll see, I guess.

♥ tony