i gave blood (for the third time)

hey,
Today was kind of fun. There was a blood drive at my school and, of course I donated. But I did what is called a "double red" where they suck out 1/3 of your blood, take out the red blood cells and plasma, keep the red blood cells, add ROOM TEMPERATURE saline to the plasma and then shoot the plasma back in. With the saline being room temperature, I become very cold. Like, I'm not even kidding, they threw a blanket on me. But it was fun knowing that I'm saving someone else's life. Anyway, I've been working hard on my new project Ego. It seems to be going really great. I have the cover made and will get it up in the coming days. I finally received my Kylie Minogue shirt yesterday and wore it to school today. It says "Kylie says relax" on it and all day people were like "Who is Kylie?" and I told them. Can't think of anything else to write.
♥ tony

crazy library

hey,
So I'm at the library and it is officially Spring Break. I am not going anywhere, just staying here in my hometown. I have to take pictures of a floor hockey banquet for yearbook tonight, so, as you can tell, I am already getting the party started. This insane woman next to me is typing so hard her fingers could probably punch through the keyboard and then through the table. But, anyway, I just wanted to write in here because it makes me feel so much better, you know?
♥ tony

you go first

hey,
I forgot to shave my neck this morning, so I'm a little weird today. I just printed out a report on Madonna's new album Hard Candy which includes a complete track listing and a breakdown of every song. In other news, I posted this bulletin on MySpace last night. It read: "Who is up for sharing secrets? You go first." Only about three people responded, but three is better than none. I would like to think I bonded with one specific person in Europe, but I haven't a clue. And now all of these people are fucking crowding behind at the printer and I hate it. Because there is no way to tell if they are reading what I am writing. But oh, well. There's life for you. But I should probably go to class now. Here is the track listing:

1. ‘Candy Store’
2. ‘4 Minutes’
3. ‘Give It 2 Me’
4. ‘Heartbeat’
5. ‘Miles Away’
6. ‘She’s Not Me’
7. ‘Incredible’
8. ‘Beat Goes On’
9. ‘Dance Tonight’
10. ‘Spanish Lesson’
11. ‘Devil’
12. ‘Voices’

fake friends

hey,
So I have pretty much had it with some people. New people especially. For instance, people like Norman and Kori. Those two are driving me insane. I have known her since 5th grade and we have been best friends. Then Norman comes along two weeks ago and it feels like he is taking my place and I don't like it. I have no problem with Kori making new friends, but when it gets to the point where you seclude yourself to be with only them, you hurt your other friends and piss them off. I don't even care if you are reading this, Kori. It's the truth, and it's something I have wanted to say since we went shopping. And I'm not the only who agrees, Kelsey and Megan do too. You've changed, and I wish you were like you used to be.
♥ tony

element 83

full of gel and hairspray
just so you could
you could see me
it's such an effort
picking out
the right type of cotton
no words get said
to my face
straight to my face
just stare ahead
and look out at
the wonderland
element 83
look what you do to me
i am someone else just for you
you know that i'm curious
to try that
to try that smoke now
and fill my body
with shots of
alcohol now
i've never done it
yeah, i'm a
i'm a drug virgin
but i have morals
that might break
but not for you now

dramaqueen

gosh, i'm such a dramaqueen
trying to round it all up
thinking i can have it all
i really can
just not now
because right now
certain things need answers
like sexual orientations
and, of course, other things

凍られます

hey,
So I totally got this idea for a new book project called 凍られます, which means "Frozen" in Japanese. I took about 10 pictures that I can actually use last night and probably tonight I will take some, and the photoshoot will continue into the weekend. I'm going for a deep blue tint. I want to show how some things may affect you, but in the end, we wash it all away... yes, it shows me naked in a bathtub, but nothing is showing. I'm really excited for this. Can't wait. It should take about a month to photoshop the fuck out of everything and get some writing down.
♥ tony

tantrums and tiaras

hey,
I feel a lot better about last night. Norman and Kori and everyone else want me to hang out with them and "party" on Friday. I don't know what they mean by "party." Do they mean drink your ass off and fuck a horse. Or could it be clubbing with skimpy clothing. No, I know. It could be snapping on a party hat and playing pin the tail on the donkey. Yes, oh yes. I'm not sure I want to do anything with them on Friday cause I'll be hanging out with them again on Saturday. I don't know. I'm such a drama queen. Give me my tiara, now.
♥ tony

strange

so i'm in this house
garage door closes
engine revs
computer hums
why did i want to stay here?
attention
sometimes i need to just stop
take a breath
let logic sink in
dog's footsteps
someone wants to kiss me
why do i feel like sort of crying?
attention, again
this dog is driving me backwards
i think they might be home again
time to grow up
time to put a smile on
time to be myself
time to socialize

fucking cigarette

hey,
So I'm here at Kori's house, with my the object of my desire outside having a fucking cigarette with Jesika. I honestly don't know what to think. I'm sort of numb... like I've heard it all before, sort of like that Madonna song, you know. But I don't care cause it's probably not going to happen anyway cause Kori is convinced that he is "metrosexual." I mean, Kori thinks he's sweet and all and wants to be his friend, and I do too, but it's just hard at the moment. I'll keep you updated.
♥ tony