at the library

hey,
So tonight I'm staying after school until 10:00pm tonight to take pictures of a choir concert for yearbook. All I have is a damn granola bar. So I'm sitting here doing completely nothing. I'll probably do homework. Mr. Lund gave me a cigar box today in study hall. I don't think I'm going to do what he suggested and take my books and somehow bind them in there, although a great idea, but I was thinking I could put the writings from Merrick in there and maybe some other objects Merrick "found" along his path. I think that would be pretty awesome. Hotel is going as awesome as ever. exactly 200 pages are done and I'm still not completely finished. I have a bitch of a stomach ache right now and I have to hold in my farts so I have to elevate my pelvis weird, hoping my stomach won't make a sound. I wish I had food.
♥ tony

alone in study hall

hey,

Emily isn't here today... no one to talk to. David isn't here... no one to drool over, so I'm pretty much here alone. I finally got Circles back from Grace last night. I'll post the cover below. You can expect to see the cover of Hotel very soon, as it is progressing along so very nicely. I think I'm like on page 180 or something and I still have at least 10 more pages to go... maybe it will be over 200 pages... that would be awesome. I'll work on it a lot over winter break, which starts in a week. I still haven't shaved my beard... maybe I'll just take a picture of my face next week and you can see how it looks. I have to do a live broadcast for broadcasting arts today, so I'm a little nervous, but I've done one before and it's not that bad. I just read some announcments from a paper and interview someone. I'm planning on asking them, "Have you ever had a total eclipse of the heart?" Yeah, it should be fun. I'm trying to change my MySpace layout but I don't know if you can do it through the school proxy cause it's acting quite strange. But anyway, here's the Circles cover:

drowned world

hey,

About a week ago I finally made the cover for Drowned World. And I am in study hall and David looks sad. He's apparently going to Sadie Hawkins with this one girl. I just don't know anymore. I'm tired of men. Anyway, here's the cover of Drowned World:

freight train hitting every square inch of my body

hey,
So last night I get home and look throught the mail, and I see a Christmas card from the Sinclair family. If you read my journals, you would know that is Josh's family. I might've mentioned him in a past post, but I can't remember. So anyway, enclosed is a picture of Josh and his siblings... plus Josh's son! I looked at it for 5 minutes and I was like... "what?" I can already tell that today will be a difficult one. GSA is tonight. Maybe I won't be as rowdy. Here are the pics:

help me

hey,
So I'm stuck in Yearbook, I have 3 stories (plus photos and photo captions) due on Friday, and I have pretty much nothing. The layouts aren't updated to the current template, so the page designers need to get on their shit... and FAST. But anyway, Hotel just keeps growing and growing. Currently 174 pages are made, and at least 180 are planned. I should start making measurments and cutting wood for the Drowned World set. I made the cover bored last weekend and it looks so raw and amazing. It's a mixture of a light blue and brown with the words "Drowned World" written in stencil. So, yeah... nothing else seems to be really new that is worth writing, so I'll keep you posted.
♥ tony

i love my stubble

hey,
So I'm sitting here in study hall, trying not to be bored. I've been feeling really... different lately. It's like, I look back on certain things I enjoyed doing a month ago and I'm just like, I'm never doing that again. Like I'm growing. Who knows, maybe I am. It's long overdue. Even with my wardrobe, on Saturday I bought this shirt that I never would dare have bought because it's so bold I guess, and I bought it and I am wearing it as I type now. Anyways, I haven't shaved in a week and I am in love with my stubble. It may be uneven, but I like it, and so does everyone else. I like the new bold me, if that's the direction I'm going in.
♥ tony

nothing new

hey,
I'm in 2nd hour right now doing a project on prostitutes with Duaha. Fun fun fun. Everything about prostitutes is blocked, but we use a proxy. Can't find anything either way. I have a new idea for a book too, I'll keep you posted.
♥ tony

snowing outside

hey,
Well, yesterday I showed one of my teachers Hotel and he cried and told me how amazing it was and how amazing I was and, well... it was nice to know someone appreciates my work. You know who you are, and I thank you.
♥ tony

***************SOMETIME LATER********************

Wow, I forgot to actually talk about the title of this post. Yeah, it's snowing outside... durr.

photo shoot courtesy of emily

don't know what to title this one

hey,

Ahhh.... let's see. Hotel is well under production. I have a little over 100 pages completed and it looks like I will meet the January 2008 deadline on time. UUUmmmmmmm.... I had an interview last night at the Hudson Flower Shop. They really seemed to love me. I think I will get it. GSA is tonight and I made myself and the Vice President a pretty binder for all of our stuff. I'm filming this movie for class where I have to dress up as Britney Spears and I'm getting mad because I have to do like the same scene 5 times cause the camera person keeps laughing. I was ready to tape her fucking mouth shut. Anyway... the box art for To Whom It May Concern is finally complete. Now if my friend would only convert it to DVD.....

what i am thankful for

hey,
Yesterday I brought what I had done of Hotel and, well, people are really immature. I don't think anyone took my pages seriously. Okay, I didn't expect them to keep a straight face while they were reading my "Letter to a Porn Star," but really.... GROW UP! I don't know why people are so shocked, you know? "Oh my god, a penis! Oh my god, boobs!" people say I was just asking for it, but they're wrong. Anyway, Thanksgiving is coming up so I figure it's best to list what I'm thankful for: (1) life (2) a family (3) great friends (4) school (5) love (6) boys (7) thoughts (8) food, especially gluten-free (9) earth (10) this blog... I'd probably die of stress without it. It's nice to be able to vent.
♥ tony

sad day

hey,
Well, this morning in study hall everyone is talking about this sophomore at our school that died. Apparently he was driving with his dad, who was drunk, and they got in a crash. The boy died, the dad lived. It's sad. I mean, I didn't know him at all, but it's just so terrible when someone so young dies. Their life was too short. I doubt anyone connected to this crash will read this blog, but my thoughts are with you. On a lighter note, over the weekend I worked my butt off on Hotel and the release is looking closer and closer. Sorry, I'm still caught up in the tragedy. I just feel so selfish that I keep blogging about me and my life and my problems when other people out there are dead. That's just the price I have to pay for being so shallow sometimes.
♥ tony

relying on others

hey,
Well, I'm sitting here in my school's library pretending to work, but I'm really writing. I really wish Ashley would hurry up with my movie. I know it's just a lame movie, but it means everything to me. And I wish Grace would give me back Circles so I can scan a copy over in it's section. (I'm tired of it saying, "image coming soon"). That's why I wish I wouldn't have to rely on others... you never know if they'll follow through or not. When they do, you're happy. When they don't, you're pissed. But... that's life I guess. And nothing can go the way I want it to. I still need to learn that.
♥ tony

labyrinth

hey,

Forgot to include some Labyrinth pics in my last post. Here there are. Enjoy!

i had a dream last night

hey,
Last night I had a dream that was... well, weird. I dreamt about Randall and me together. And it's like... everytime I think about Randall I just get this fuzzy feeling. A comforting one. One that I wish would happen more often. Even though we never dated, I knew him. I guess I was his friend. I first started talking to him in January 2006. Then in June 2006, I finally met him and that ended up being sexual. Very sexual. It was only once, but it was nice, for me at least. About a month or so later, I told him I might be falling for him. He was sort of like "whatever." It just really hurt me; and it still does today. And the fact that Brandon is dating him just makes it even more forbidden. My two ex-lovers are dating each other. Well, on a mature note, I hope they're happy. I mean it. It's time I stat being selfless. And then there's David. He's in my study hall. He talks to me sometimes, I want to get to know him more, but I always chicken out at the last moment. I don't even know if he's gay/bi. I just don't want him to be straight and then I hit on him or something. Stress. But in happier news, Labyrinth is finally finished. YAY! I sort of abandoned it for a month because I didn't know what I wanted to do with it. But I did it and it turned out well. I'll post the cover and some pages tomorrow.
♥ tony

alyssa is a hot mama

hey,
Just a shout out to my bff Alyssa. I love you! You're a hot mama. Two girls and a cup.
♥ tony

oh the sweetness of an update

hey,
Well, I got a card from Target yesterday basically saying "fuck you we don't want you to work here" but whatever I don't care. I'm looking into this new one now. It's at a flower shop downtown. I know, I know, totally gay, but it's an option. Anyway, the release of To Whom It May Concern is looking very very well, better than I expected, thanks to Ashley. But I'm still having major debates with the cover art and design concept of the packaging, but it should be finished and ready to go by the end of the year... maybe mid-December. Also, the release of Merrick and Labyrinth have been simply listed as 2008 until further notice. Between school and my life and everything else, I've been really jamming things latley. I'm thinking of a short (maybe a week or two) break from everything. A few weeks ago, I finished the first page of Hotel. It's really different. I was partly inspired by (gag me) Dirty Blonde: The Diaries of Courtney Love. I know people hate her because she supposedly killed Kurt Cobain, but I don't like her because she said Madonna was a "weak artist," and it's like okay, I guess you're hot shit. But her book was really artistic and helpful as a visual journal. I guess that's it for now.
♥ tony

happy 50th posting

hey,
Well, over the weekend, I finally came across my (get this) emergency back up copy of To Whom It May Concern. I know. How could I foget? Then yesterday I gave it to my friend to convert it to DVD. So hopefully I will get it by the end of the week or maybe the beginning of next week. After that, I will clean it up a little on iMovie and then plan on releasing it in December. So, yeah... life is pretty much good. I'm pissed because I finally found out that Madonna's new album won't be out until the beginning of 2008. GGGGGoooooooooddddddd!!!!!!!!!! Reports say she will be taking photos for the album after the holiday season. But whatever. As long as it actually releases *cough cough Reinvention Tour Live from Lisbon DVD*. Whoops, was that me?
♥ tony

target interview

hey,
Well, yesterday after school I had my very first job interview at Target. All in all, I think it was okay. The guy interviewing me was fricking gorgeous, so I became a little distracted at some points. I mean, I expected it to be some middle age bald, yet hairy obese man. But instead I got a Greek god. But I have my second interview tonight after school. That's how Target works. You get one interview with a regular Target Team Member. The second one is with someone higher ranking. The third and last interview basically means you get the job. Tonight, the second interview is with a girl, so I hopefully don't have to worry about distractions... unless her boobs are hanging out. Hahaha.
♥ tony

x-static blog shut down

hey,

Well, I've decided to shut down my other blog http://www.tonyxstaticprocess.blogspot.com/ becuse, well, it's kind of pointless. So I'm just posting the pretty pages from the book in this passage because I'd hate to permenatly delete them. Anyway, I have a job interview at Target today at 4:00pm. I'm really anxious. It's cool, because today when I was styling my hair, I did something different by accident and it looks much better, not as oily or gross; very natural and whispy... okay, that was weird. Well, anyway, like I said, here are the pages. Click to enlarge.

happy halloween!

hey,
well, i hope everyone is having or has had a safe halloween! i just purchased britney spears blackout today. i listened to the first 4 songs and it was okay. wasn't horrible, but it was okay. it had a dance club theme to it. very nice. good work britney. well, i should go. bye!
♥ tony

gimme more

Hey,

Some of you might remeber the image to the left. Well, I don't care, because you know what, I am buying Blackout on Thursday because in the midst of all of what Britney has been through, she still needs support. That's what you do with people. If they go through something rough, you should give them support: that's how they recover. So we need Britney to recover and get well. Plus no one can deny that Gimme More is annoying, yet catchy. Well, at least I think it is. So all I ask of people is to be open minded. Yeah, she's not the smartest person or most responsible and pretty stupid at times, but she needs support; assurance that someone actually gives a damn. And I think that if humans are as kind as they are belived to be, we will give a damn.

♥ tony

dumbass, but for a good reason

hey,
Well, you know how I like to refelct on past writings. I was reading back and I was writing about some sort of stripper routine. What the fuck?! I think that was only cause I was trying to make Brandon all "ooh, i want you back." How stupid of me. Anyway, I am finally 17 as of October 20. Should've mentioned it earlier. Happy birthday to me. Well, that's it. I'm working on getting a picture of the Circles cover on here. My friend has it so I can't scan it just yet. But, yeah.

♥ tony

Merrick

hey,
so, have you figured out my next project based on the image? Basically, (I will try to explain this the best I can) my new book is titled Merrick. Merrick also is the main character's name. There are 28 poems, each a different color, and they follow Merrick as he travels through America and tries to find his inner self. He goes through a lot. From meeting a one-armed man to comparing his ex-lovers affection to waffles. I'm really proud of it. The true inspiration for this project came in part from Tori Amos' 2002 CD Scarlet's Walk, in which the main character, Scarlet, goes through the same cross-country journey Merrick will go through. I like it. I've really been digging deep to find certain words and phrases. Like I've been scraped on the inside. Sort of like a pumpkin. In case you don't understand what I mean at all by this, here's a visual (this not the actual/official map). Also below is the cover. Enjoy!

"To Whom It May Concern" cover art

hey,
So, To Whom It May Concern seems to be in a rather unpleasent position. My friend has the VHS version and "can't find it." THAT WAS THE MASTER COPY! So now, unless she finds it, I'm screwed and can't transfer it to DVD, let alone release it. I know it's not her fault and that things like this happen, but I'm just really stressed out about this because now I don't even know if I can make the November 15 release date. But anyway, I've had some time on my hands, so I've been developing possible cover art. Special thanks to Emily for taking the pictures. I want to go with a happy and uplifting concept. Take a look:

a new school year

hey,

well, i finally found my password again. welll....... updates updates updates..... let's see. im in yearbook and it really sucks. i dont know how to work the adobe program. To Whom It May Concern will release hopefully in November/December 2007 on 2-disc DVD. I have 3 new book projects I am working on. I am finished with Circles, the follow up to X-Static Process. I just need to put it all together. Then there's this one I don't have a name for yet, but it involves the picture above. Any guess? I'll let you know soon enough. Then there's Labyrinth which I am seriously on the verge on abandoning, but the pictures turned out so great, I just can't decide. Other than that, X-Static Process and Circles have been selected to appear in a gallery and I anticipate a busy and exciting year!

-tony

gorgeous details

Hey,
I guess I've taken to designing covers for people. Here's a cover I made for a friend's art journal:

new novel completed

hello,
Well, over the weekend, I finally finished a novel I have been working on for over 6 months. It is titled Blue Glitter and is very much a great book. I may post a few passages in the future.

-tony

new book

Hello,
i have great news. I am about 95% finished with a book titled X-Static Process. It's more of a artistic journal, but when its completely finished, I will totally post some pages. All I can say is that it's really cool and everyone loves it! And I love it too!! To see the pages, visit www.tonyxstaticprocess.blogspot.com. Thanks!

-tony

rejection is the greatest aphrodisiac

hello,
Well, rejection has taken place in my life... again. This time with that Bryan guy I talked about earlier. Apparently he's to busy and wants to focus on school. But, hey... what are you gonna do, ya know? (I totally quoted Kissing Jessica Stein). But, hey I'm running out of time in 1st Hour, but I'll give you more updates as they become avaliable.

-Tony

sweet little update

hey,
Well, for starters Erotica is canceled, I currently am not motivated to work on my new book, my new movie has been post-poned until further notice (To Whom It May Concern releases on DVD summer 2007), I will be starting therapy very shortly and I met a new guy. We aren't dating, but he is very very very sweet. His name is Bryan and he loves music as much as I do. And when he writes to me he does it in a way that... I don't know. He's just not like any other guy I've met--and I'm serious. Well, that's it for now. Bye bye!

-tony

launching of a new blog: erotica

hey,
wow. i finally just remembered my password, which is why I haven't been on in a long time. Anyway, I have decided to launch a completely new blog simply entitled "Erotica", which is accompanying my new album also titled "Erotica". Yes, yes, yes, it is a rip off of Madonna's 1992 album known as the same title, but I don't care. I've always wanted to do something like this and now seems to be a great time for me. This will be the first album I will record on an C.D. Anyway, a black man called me last night... hahaha... just joking... but it really did happen. His name is Zech and my friend introduced me to him, but not in person. He works at Pizza Hut. Yes, oh yes.

Live well,
tony